Internship/internSHIT update.

5 min read

Deviation Actions

Fyrrea's avatar
By
Published:
2.7K Views
Facebook l Gallery l Last.fm l Watch Me l Note Me

Sooo now I'm on surgery internship. 
I thought it would be an internSHIT, like the previous one. I was on ob-gyn and for two months, I haven't seen any childbirth or talked to any patient. I was in a room with three PCs (I was so happy there was Solitaire game lol) and I was writing hospital discharges. Yeah. That's what I learned to do. Copy, paste, modify, print. Oh, I also learned that if your laser printer says its toner is empty, you have to take it out, shake, and it can work again for a week or so. 
But the surgery isn't an internSHIT. I still do paperwork, but it isn't mindless copy-paste-modify, but it requires thinking. I also had an opportunity to use my MAGICAL DOCTOR STAMP for the first time in my life (after half year of being a doctor, LOL) and I was so happy (and a bit proud)! :) I also have "my own" patients, I admit them, take history, examine them, check on them every day, have a chat about how they are feeling... It's very nice. 
And I'm so happy I don't have to be on the operating theater! It's boring. During my studies all I had to do on the OR was: a) stand and watch surgeon's backs (because it's all that you can see - once I took a pic, you can see it for yourself - instagram.com/p/XiEV1wAKBG/?ta… YAY YOU'RE ALMOST A SURGEON NOW) or b) stand and hold the retractors, or sometimes c) hold a leg/arm. And I'm happy because there are other interns, who are eager to go there and look at surgeon's backs. Really :) 
But there is one really bad thing about the surgery. 
Death.
Today one of my patients was in a critical condition. She was not responsive and was breathing in this special way which only dying people breathe (death rattle). The family was informed and on the way. I was doing my paperwork as quickly as I could, taking breaks and going to my patient's room to check on her. She was alone, I didn't want her to die alone. No one should die alone. Every time I walked into the room I was so afraid it's too late, but she kept going. And after a few hours the family arrived. I was also afraid to talk to them, didn't want to be intrusive or something, but I finally managed to go and tell them I'm very sorry. I also told them that she's not suffering from pain, that they should just be there for her and moisture her mouth - that's the only thing they could do. 
When i was finishing my work day, she was still alive. I went to home, went to bed and slept for few hours, emotionally drained. 
It's hard. I know many doctors are immune to feelings when it comes to patients death, but I don't want myself to get rid of the feelings. It hurts, but it's a good pain. It's a part of being a human. Compassion, empathy... We'd be robots without it. 

CSS made by kuschelirmel-stock
Edition by Fyrrea
© 2015 - 2024 Fyrrea
Comments21
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Wielogrodzianka's avatar
Jesteś człowiekiem i to jest najpiękniejsze. Być człowiekiem to właśnie być ludzkim! A Ty posiadasz empatię i pewien rodzaj ciepła. Aż chciałoby się rzec, że i ja chciałabym taką lekarkę.

P.S
Kiedyś i ja miałam iść do medyka, ale jakie to ma teraz znaczenie obrałam inną drogę. Czy żałuję...? Nie. Ponieważ ta, a nie inna droga mnie wiele nauczyła.